My loves,

I am here and I am resting but I miss you so much. I have seen all of your lovely, kind comments and well wishes and they have brought me peace. I don't like not working, I hate feeling like I'm letting people down but y'all have put my mind at ease on that front. I am so thankful.

ALSO Rachel, the MVP, best friend ever has been really coming through with content in the meantime. She is re uploading videos that have been demonetized by YouTube, she is splicing together the entire Never King and Haunting Adeline series as big, long videos for you to enjoy in my absence.

It is very important that I can keep my job during this break so I hope you will be here to help transition into the next phase of my life because long story short, I will be moving into my own place and it has never been more important for me to be able to work... and I have been too sick to do so.

I will share more about the move etc. in the future but for now, I am just trying to navigate this shift the best that I can and your support means the world to me.

I am not appealing to you to sign up for my Patreon or anything like that. I know times are tough for everyone. But I would so appreciate engagement on my public videos, past, recent and re releases. I almost make enough on Patreon ALONE to afford rent on a few places I've found but for a free way to support me, watch the videos, share them, comment, etc. All of this helps me get that ad revenue! ;)

As for my health, I am still trying to find answers to what is ailing me. I've been to a few doctors and specialists, I am taking this break to rest, go to therapy, try to take care of myself and just make it through the days the best I can. I feel horrible and even though I've known this for a while, I've never been more aware of how horrible the healthcare system is but I am trying my best. I am ready to feel better, I am trying to manage my stress too because I know that won't help matters. It's just all very isolating; thankfully I have y'all, my incredible friends and support system in place.

I appreciate you taking the time to read this and hear me out. If you're still here with me, I can't express the love I feel and the gratitude I have for you. I hope wherever you are, the day is being kind to you.

I love you, you don't have to say it back.
xo Natalie

My loves, I am not doing well. As a result, there will be no video this week and I will be taking a break for a few weeks.

I can’t tell you how much this hurts me because I love love love making videos for you. I sat down on Monday to try and film, got six chapters in and had to stop. I was going to try again today but I just can’t do it. My energy is depleted, I feel weak and foggy. I’m having trouble eating. I’m not trying to complain, I just want you to know how bad it has to be for me to need this break. I love my job, I love you guys and I wanna keep bringing you quality videos until the cows come home - I just need to take a break for a while for my health and well being.

If you’re curious, I’ve got a few doctor and therapy appointments on the books, I’m determined to feel better and figure this out. I appreciate you in every single sense of the word and I will be back and hopefully better soon.

♥️ Natalie

So with the insane success of my Piss Flaps video 👀 I have seen some pretty amazing subscriber growth. SO I wanted to start planning and working on the book I want to read/review for this milestone.

ICYMI I said when I hit 50,000 I plan to read (and watch) and review the Fifty Shades series so that’s set.

But for 40,000… I'm not sure. So far, I know that the obvious tie is the number 4 or 40, etc. I also looked into traditional anniversary gifts by year and for year 40, the gift is rubies? Rubies are red - you get it. That's all I have so far but I’m brainstorming and I’d love your help.

Only members of the Bookworm and Weirdo tier will get the voting privileges on the poll below for the titles I've been rolling around but everyone can drop a title in the comment for consideration.

And thank you endlessly again for your support. I love you, you don’t have to say it back.

(I reserve the right to change my mind, go another direction and/or change the plan completely 😝)

Ok buds, so here's what I'm thinking and why I'm thinking it:

• Fourth Wing - a little different than the stuff I usually cover BUT it has the number 4 in it. Kind of an obvious connection but still, could be an adventure?

• West of Wicked - this is the latest from Nikki St. Crowe who is known for her Peter Pan/Lost Boy series that I covered extensively on my channel... this book though is a Wizard of Oz reimagining so ruby... ruby slippers, you get it.

As said above, vote vote vote but also, if you have another title to toss into the ring, please leave it in the comments! I appreciate you so much. <3